you know i have quiet a shallow mind

the way i see it my life is shallow

so it goes without saying that whatever i say will be shallow

there’s so much drivel in this world

through tv and radio and newspapers and magazines and people

and signboards and neon lights

and car horns and public

announcements and megaphones

I think it wouldn’t hurt to have some more of it

when i watch tv and the screen goes black sometimes

i see my face in it

its kind of funny sometimes and i smile

sometimes its really sad

and once or twice my eyes have cracked to let out a tear

but it doesn’t last

soon enough some sound track comes up on tv and the moment passes

and i gladly let myself get distracted

away from the indecipherable emotion or feeling or whatever

that’s about as profound as life gets for a shallow person like me

the computer screen flickers with the wavelength of an incoming call

the mobile service wants to convert pre-paid to post-paid

they want your money

and prefer it in a steady flow rather than once off payments for refill cards

so i talk to the very polite person at the other end of the connection

that person earns his pay by telling me

about this network that is spreading out in my area

we talk at length and at one point the voice on the other end said thank you

and “good talking to you madam”

and that voice seemed to mean it

it could be call centre training but somehow i felt better for a while

she says that the world has come between us, she says we got nothing in common and that we are falling apart. “our lives have come in between us and i know you just don’t care, anyway.” then the lights went off and we stared at the darkness dumbfounded. the electricity board had pulled our fuse, we were waiting for that. she said once again, “i know you don’t care and anyways we have nothing in common”. so we sat in darkness silent and sullen.

then when there was nothing left to it, i said,

fuck the government i like it in the dark…

– yeah we got the better of them huhhh…

then we were quiet for some time, smiling soundlessly in the dark

i allowed myself to be born and i take full responsibility of it, i expect other’s to do the same. when someone blames anything for their lives i get cockeyed in my thought and i cant see anything in perspective. i get into arguments with people and all i wanted to do was say what i felt, just express the feeling that blamethrowers invoke in me. doesn’t get anywhere usually! So i usually end up pitying myself and seeking something to blame, and suddenly the whole world seems like the whirlpool in a kitchen sink.

Only wanted to make things right

When I only wanted to make things right

– Lemon Jelly

i keep dropping he t in the

i noticed that happening often in the lines i been writing

wonder what that means

wonder why it happens